It’s times like these when she wished she had a brother, an elder brother. A brother with whom she could share anything and everything, without the fear of being judged, accused, abandoned or ashamed. A brother who she could call up at any hour of the day, to cry about her heartbreaks, her sorrows, her downfalls. A brother upon whom she could trust completely. A brother to share her joys with, to celebrate with the one who cares!
A brother to take her to places where she wouldn’t have gone without an escort. She would have opened up to him entirely, leaving not a single bit behind. He would know that his sister was an adorable little psycho and he would be fine with it. Because he would understand. He would have experienced the same kind of things that she had experienced at some point in his life. It would feel good for him as well, to have someone to share his knowledge of life with, the way he learnt it. He would try and correct his little sister whenever he felt like she’s taking a wrong decision, the wrong path. And she would always listen to him, no matter what, because he would be the only one who completely understands her!
Sometimes at night when she’s alone, she cries aloud, “Oh brother, why do I always cry for you even when I know you don’t exist?” How is it possible for someone to cry over something which never existed in the first place?
Everyone expects you to focus;
nobody tells you how to declutter.
People give you tips on how to learn new things with zeal and enthusiasm
but what about the pre-existing things on my mind? How am I to declutter those?
I sure can’t just put a needle through my mind and make it burst like a big, fat balloon.
(I wish I could… )
How do you console someone whose dad has passed away? How do you ask them if they’re okay? How do you show that you genuinely care? How do you know what they really feel? And how does a person accept death of a loved one, in their early twenties?
What is life? We are born alone, we die alone. We live in the intermediate stage. But the living stage is how we define our life. Life; we make a few connections with souls around us in our lifetime. Some turns out good, some okay, but mostly not so good. But how does it matter at the end? Why end, when people face a severe loss or difficultly during their life, they feel alone even then. As alone as we’ve come and as alone as we would leave. Why then, do we generate such a huge wave of feelings, during our transitional phase, the phase between birth and death?
My friend’s father had to embrace death a few days back. He had been affected by a medical condition called Sepsis. I wasn’t even aware of this condition before. She isn’t my close friend. Neither have I ever met her father. But her story pierced me. The loss of a parent when someone is a mere two decades old is very saddening.
Our exams are going on. We have our exams for like 25 days, almost a month, with 5-6 days holiday before each subject’s paper. And it was in the middle of all this that she had to face such a sudden loss. She’s strong, I’m told. The loss didn’t stop her from giving her exams. She’s still preparing for her upcoming papers. I do respect the strength in her and her family.
We never know what the next day might bring us. We never know if we might even live up to see the next day. I know it’s a cliché sentence but it’s so true: Live each day as if it’s your last. Anger, envy, grevience, hatred won’t do you any good. Live each day with warmth, happiness and love. And work towards spreading the love, it’s essential in today’s technological world, where people often forget about human emotions.
Feeling lonely is one thing; but being alone is a completely different reality.
“Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be on a high dose of Veritaserum* ? Spilling out the truths, all at once, without worrying about it’s consequences. True, even my darkest secrets would be revealed; but, once it’s gone, it’s GONE!! It won’t dare trouble me ever again. Ah, so liberating!” – She thought.
Veritaserum* – a powerful truth serum/ potion. (a Harry Potter reference)