Unanswered Questions…

How do you console someone whose dad has passed away?  How do you ask them if they’re okay? How do you show that you genuinely care? How do you know what they really feel? And how does a person accept death of a loved one, in their early twenties?

What is life? We are born alone, we die alone. We live in the intermediate stage. But the living stage is how we define our life. Life; we make a few connections with souls around us in our lifetime. Some turns out good, some okay, but mostly not so good. But how does it matter at the end? Why end, when people face a severe loss  or difficultly during their life, they feel alone even then. As alone as we’ve come and as alone as we would leave. Why then, do we generate such a huge wave of feelings, during our transitional phase, the phase between birth and death?

My friend’s father had to embrace death a few days back. He had been affected by a medical condition called Sepsis. I wasn’t even aware of this condition before. She isn’t my close friend. Neither have I ever met her father. But her story pierced me. The loss of a parent when someone is a mere two decades old is very saddening.

Our exams are going on. We have our exams for like 25 days, almost a month, with 5-6 days holiday before each subject’s paper. And it was in the middle of all this that she had to face such a sudden loss. She’s strong, I’m told. The loss didn’t stop her from giving her exams. She’s still preparing for her upcoming papers. I do respect the strength in her and her family.

We never know what the next day might bring us. We never know if we might even live up to see the next day. I know it’s a cliché sentence but it’s so true: Live each day as if it’s your last. Anger, envy, grevience, hatred won’t do you any good. Live each day with warmth, happiness and love. And work towards spreading the love, it’s essential in today’s technological world, where people often forget about human emotions.

– Suri

6 thoughts on “Unanswered Questions…

  1. Some (but not all) answers:
    How do you console someone whose dad has passed away? – Be there for them. Let them talk. Listen.
    How do you ask them if they’re okay? – You don’t… because they probably are not!
    How do you show that you genuinely care? – Be there for them, and ensure they know that.
    How do you know what they really feel? – You cannot know. Similar circumstances may give you an insight, but every situation is unique.
    How does a person accept death of a loved one, in their early twenties? – It takes time. They must go through the grieving process at their own speed, but should be encouraged accordingly. They cannot move forward until the process is completed and, if at a young age, they must eventually move forward with their life.
    What is life? – It is a once only (my belief) opportunity to recognize the shortcomings in our world, and a make an effort to improve things in our own way. It is an opportunity to leave the world in a better state than how we found it!
    We are born alone, we die alone. – I cannot agree. I was born with a mother, a father and a sister. I hope to die with friends and relatives.
    We live in the intermediate stage. But the living stage is how we define our life. Life; we make a few connections with souls around us in our lifetime. Some turns out good, some okay, but mostly not so good. – That is perspective and choice. A bad relationship can be a valuable learning experience. We can surround ourselves with perceived good… or bad. Our choice!
    But how does it matter at the end? – It matters at life’s end when you reflect back. Did you totally waste your life? Did you have any positive impacts? Did you role model your spiritual values? Did you lead a totally self-serving, or giving, life?
    Why end, when people face a severe loss or difficultly during their life, they feel alone even then. – Loneliness is a complex state dependent on numerous parameters so it is not something that can/should be generalized.
    As alone as we’ve come and as alone as we would leave. – If we are alone, we have to accept some of the responsibility for that state.
    Why then, do we generate such a huge wave of feelings, during our transitional phase, the phase between birth and death? – Too general to suggest any answers.
    My friend’s father had to embrace death a few days back. He had been affected by a medical condition called Sepsis. I wasn’t even aware of this condition before. She isn’t my close friend. Neither have I ever met her father. But her story pierced me. The loss of a parent when someone is a mere two decades old is very saddening. – It is devastating, as is a parent losing a child. Perhaps you should reassess the value of your own parents in your life?
    Our exams are going on. We have our exams for like 25 days, almost a month, with 5-6 days holiday before each subject’s paper. And it was in the middle of all this that she had to face such a sudden loss. She’s strong, I’m told. The loss didn’t stop her from giving her exams. She’s still preparing for her upcoming papers. I do respect the strength in her and her family. – She should be admired for her efforts under these circumstances. Her friends should be prepared for a “crash” in the near future however as she is probably using the exams to mask her emotions. Her reality will hit her eventually.
    We never know what the next day might bring us. We never know if we might even live up to see the next day. I know it’s a cliché sentence but it’s so true: Live each day as if it’s your last. Anger, envy, grevience, hatred won’t do you any good. Live each day with warmth, happiness and love. And work towards spreading the love, it’s essential in today’s technological world, where people often forget about human emotions. – Bravo Suri. I totally agree with you. You are special! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I hope your friend was able to deal with the situation. I hope you’re fine too! A similar incident happened with me, but in my case one of the students in my college committed suicide. And this was the first of a kind in our institute. The entire institute was gloomy and dark for the rest of the exam time. Neither me nor my friends knew what to do. But luckily, as soon as the exams ended, I flew to Europe for an internship. Dealing with new stuff here kind of diverted my attention from the recent death of my college junior.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hmmm I can relate.

    Sometimes the best consolation is actually not in the volume or quality of words spoke but in the quality of time dedicated to be by the side of the bereaved and most importantly, register the fact that you sincerely care.

    Liked by 2 people

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