She had a heart that was filled with terror. A heart compressed by fear. A heart rotting into mistrust and paranoia. She feels happy. She gets furious. She gets terrified. She feels saddened. Yet, she never dares to show any of these feelings on the outside.
It was as if she always wears a protective mask covering her skin, covering her face that expresses no emotions. A ‘Stone-Hearted‘ girl – they called her.
Today, when he looked into the mirror, it wasn’t his reflection that he saw. Instead, what he could see was an embodiment of the struggles of his past. The hauntings of his past. This startled him. He didn’t want to look at himself like that. He had always wanted to be the one who conquered over the emotions. He was like the pawn aspiring to become the King. He knew he wasn’t capable, yet he had that ambition, that fire within him which would take him to greater heights. He had always aimed to set an example to the world, about what it is like to have a turbulent past and yet succeed. Maybe he could really do that. But that, he knows, would only be possible if he learns how to take charge of his own emotions.
Today, I realized, that I’ve just been flying with the throng. That I’ve lost sense of my own personality, in that process. The way I was before is slowly perishing in the darkness, as I am embracing this new change. But I must stop. I must stop before this change completely devours me up. If I don’t terminate it in time, then I guess it might eventually wash away the memory of who I actually was! And who I really am! I need to take control of my own self so as to have a balance. An equilibrium. And, I am the only one who can do that. Sparkling out my true identity! *wink*
“How does it feel like to fight a constant battle against yourself?” She beamed, mockingly. He remained silent. “Oh come on! Humour me”, was what she said next that built up an intense anger within him. He felt, for the very first time in his life, the need to hit somebody so hard that eventually the person drops down unconscious.